There Was A Shooting In My Town

My 11-year-old slept in my bed last night—too scared to sleep in her own after a shooter killed two people and himself at a grocery store here in Bend on Sunday night. We were in that store last week. 

Holding my daughter while tears slid down her face, she asked me question after question and I had only unsatisfactory answers. I raged inside while I stroked her hair, particularly unequipped with any suitable response for her deepest concern: “But why?” 

I raged at the violence, at my own lack of surprise, at my own numbness. At how normal it felt. And her question turned over and over in my mind… but why?

But why have we let shootings become literal everyday occurrences? 

Why do we keep ignoring the piles of evidence and research about effective ways to decrease gun violence?

Why do we care so little about the men’s overall well-being that we’re ignoring the violence they are perpetrating toward themselves and others?

Why do we keep voting for politicians who will sell our children’s lives for another two or four years in office?

Why do we keep putting our kids through traumatic lockdown drills at school (which don’t work) instead of following the data on how to actually keep them safe?

And why, oh god why, do I have to repeatedly hold my babies while they cry in fear about being shot at school? My heart can’t handle being asked “Will a shooter come to my school?” one more time and being unable to say “No” with any confidence.

Because looking around at my community, I think it’s probably likely that there will be a school shooting here at some point. The shooter this week was actually planning to shoot up one of our high schools on the first day of school next week, but decided to do it early because he “couldn’t wait.”

In addition, there is an inordinate number of guns in Central Oregon—a common sight around town is a bumper sticker that says “OreGUNian” with an AR-15—and data shows that gun prevalence in a community is directly correlated with increased gun violence. It makes sense when you think about it: more guns = more gun violence. As a side note, I’ve wondered how people with those bumper stickers feel about them after Sunday’s shooting.

And let me be clear, I have spoken to enough people and done enough research to deeply understand the ideological “why’s” behind gun rights arguments—that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m asking why those ideologies and political concepts hold more value than the lives of our innocent neighbors, children, parents, grandparents, and friends. 

I’d like to think that if our leaders had known about all the gun violence data, we would’ve done everything in our power to prevent Sunday’s shooting. But the fact is… they did know. They do know. That data is readily available and it’s their job to know the facts so they can make informed decisions on behalf of our community. They just chose to disregard those facts.

These senseless murders were not inevitable. 

We—the people and our elected leaders—allowed this to happen. 

And by doing nothing, we will allow it to happen over and over and over and over and over and over again.

But why?