How to Plan a Wedding that Changes the World
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What do you do if you want to have a wedding but you’re also keenly aware of the impact of your consumer choices?
You plan a sustainable wedding… like Gabrielle did.
Gabrielle (or Gabi to her friends) was in her second year of graduate school when she got engaged to Mike. The nature of her Master’s program (International Community Development) meant she was steeped in information about how our everyday choices affect the world around us—she knew the environmental impact of plastics, she knew the social impact of unethical production practices, and she understood how our purchases prop up systems of racism, sexism, poverty, and violence whether or not we’re aware of it.
She also knew that weddings tend to be extremely wasteful and consumeristic.
“[Our wedding] was an extension of myself and how I want to make an impact… a way to share that piece of myself with others.””
But still, Gabi and Mike agreed they wanted a wedding—they wanted to celebrate with friends and family, bring everyone they love together into one place, and mark the occasion. Surely, there had to be a way to do it well.
Well... where there’s a will, there’s a way.
They started by “focus[ing] on the reason for the tradition, rather than on the tradition itself.”
With this in mind, they chose an intimate venue on Hood Canal, just south of Seattle that also shared many of their values. St. Andrew’s House is a small, nonprofit retreat center that served local food (organic when possible) and let them do pretty much whatever they wanted for everything else. That meant Gabi and Mike could keep the focus on the reason for the event, rather than being locked into specific details or requirements like they would be at so many other venues that require couples to serve their wine, use their coordinator, and stick to their schedule.
“The venue was the glue for the wedding,” Gabi explains. “It let us focus on friends and family instead of on a big production.”
For many people, one of the sticking points of a sustainable wedding would probably be the dress. But Gabi wasn’t worried about it. Since the fashion industry is one of the dirtiest industries in the world both in terms of environmental impact and slave labor, she’d known for a long time that she wanted to find an alternative to buying new.
She did her research, found a couple of options for second-hand dresses, and ended up finding her Grecian-inspired gown at Brides For A Cause in Tacoma, WA (they also have locations in Seattle and Portland). Dresses start at just $150 and proceeds are donated to a variety of local causes and charities. You still get the whole experience of trying on beautiful dresses in a beautiful dressing room… but everything you buy makes a positive impact instead of propping up unjust systems. It’s a win/win!
Here are some of the other eco-friendly choices Gabi and Mike made for their wedding:
They sent seeded paper invitations—guests could plant the entire invitation and enjoy wildflowers in their garden a few weeks later. They also asked for online RSVPs to reduce paper waste and diminish the carbon impact of people mailing back their responses.
Knowing that many commercial flower companies exploit their workforce, use exorbitant amounts of water, and ship flowers halfway across the world, Gabi purchased a gorgeous EcoFlower bouquet for herself that was made out of wood. EcoFlowers are affordable, beautiful, and long-lasting.
To keep her time and attention on people she loves instead of on wedding tasks, Gabi turned the creation of her bridesmaid’s bouquets into quality time with her two closest friends. A couple of days before the wedding, the three of them spent the afternoon walking through a nearby forest, foraging greenery for the bouquets. Then the day before the wedding, one of her bridemaids—Annelisa—found a few more natural beauties to add to the bouquets from the forest surrounding the venue. The bridal party put together their own bouquets the morning of the wedding while Gabi got ready.
To avoid supporting fashion industry for her bridesmaid’s dresses, Gabi had her friends rent their gowns from Rent The Runway. It was affordable, easy, and ethical.
They served Rescue Rose by UpsideDown Wine—a local winery that gives 20% of its proceeds to nonprofit partners working to rescue animals from abuse and neglect. For beer, they purchased a keg of beer from a local spot called Chainline Brewery and served it in glasses to reduce waste from bottles, cans, or plastic cups.
The desserts they served were made by a local bakery—a woman who makes all her sweets by hand in her home kitchen.
For the reception, Gabi and Mike solicited the help of their family to make lawn games out of scrap wood. They made giant Jenga sets, cornhole, and ring toss for guests to enjoy.
For seating beyond what the venue could provide, Mike’s dad put together benches from reclaimed wood.
Whenever possible, Gabi purchases things at her local thrift stores, borrowed from friends, or did without. When there was no great option, she opted for the smallest impact possible.
The wedding itself was beautiful… intimate, fun, simple, and anything but boring. Because she was forced to think outside the box for so many elements, the wedding itself was not like anything I’ve ever experienced (and my husband and I were full-time wedding photographers for eight years!) It was very...them. Not a single part of it felt like an obligation or something they had to do. If it was included in the wedding, it was thoughtfully included because it added to the experience Gabi and Mike wanted to create for themselves, their families, and their friends.
TBH, it was a LOT of work. So much research, intentionality, and ingenuity went into making this day have a positive impact both locally and globally.
But for Gabi, it was all worth it.
“[Our wedding] was an extension of myself and how I want to make an impact… a way to share that piece of myself with others. It would’ve felt disconnected if I’d done it any other way... and way more expensive!” she laughs.
Plus, she adds, since she’s not one to get up in people’s faces, this was her way of making a statement—an opportunity to lead by example on an issue she’s passionate about.
“Part of it was my small rebellion against the world,” she admits with a laugh.
Well… it was the prettiest rebellion I’ve ever seen.
